A Dutch vacation home where nothing illegal has ever happened


When you stay in a vacation home there is always the lingering concern that you are relaxing at a former crime scene. "What illicit activities were carried out here?" You wonder to yourself as you try to get into your romantic novel. Tax fraud? Drugs manufacturing?? Murder??? How can you enjoy a week in the Netherlands while staying in a house where a murder took place? Well, in this Dutch vacation home, that is something that you simply don't need to worry yourself about. From the earliest stages of its construction in the early 1990s, this Eindhoven 3-bedroom has been comprehensively monitored by a 24 hour surveillance team via a network of remote operated cameras covering every cubic centimeter of the property. Only through such meticulous observation can it be documented and guaranteed that nothing illegal has ever happened within the tastefully modern vacation rental. When you arrive at the home to check in, you are presented with a notarised declaration from the authorised surveillance body that the house remains in a pure state, completely, certifiably "virgin" to any and all kinds of criminal activity as defined by Dutch and, in some cases, EU law. With the piece of mind, you will luxuriate in the spacious living room whose two, wide massage chairs will help you unwind, prepare family meals in the fully-equipped, US diner-themed kitchen, and wash away any sweat you might have extruded while exploring the historic nooks and crannies of Eindhoven in one of two walk-in shower cabins. One little thing to keep in mind: when you rent the property, you sign an contract which states that you consent to being observed at all times while within the house by the 24 hour surveillance team and also, that if you are observed committing a crime on the premises, you are under obligation to purchase the home at 50% above assessed market value, as the property will no longer be a vacation home where nothing illegal has ever happened and therefore of little use to the current owners.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A charming "casa" in Roermond

Image
Choosing a home-away-from-home for your special vacation is never easy. There is so much to think about! Let's make it easy, ok? This charming "casa" (if you will) features double door locks, security cameras, a state-of-the-art alarm system, shatterproof glass and a decorative, retractable chimney. There is a roof-mounted TV antenna for accessing regional entertainment programming as well as a recently remodelled kitchen kitted out with enough cutlery for up to 10 total meal participants. The refrigerator is the real gem here. It was modified by a well-known, local engineer to maintain temperature stability far more reliably than off-the-shelf models. Whether you're eating some freshly prepared food or enjoying a Dutch television series, this home has what it takes to make your vacation one that you will remember until your very last days on earth. Pro tip: bookings for 6 weeks or longer will enter you into a raffle held by the Roermond Business Association whose pri...
Read more

A Dutch vacation home... in Belgium??!?!!

Image
OK, this is simply too much! How can one of the best Dutch vacation homes be physically located outside of Netherland borders? Surely someone is making a very bad joke here! Well, let's be careful. When the foundation of this lovingly-restored 3-bedroom getaway cottage was originally laid, the town of Maldegem, where the house stands, was actually a part of The Netherlands. So you see, without undermining the rightful sovereignty of the Kingdom of Belgium, we can, in a sense, consider this Belgian vacation home Dutch after all! And unlike most other Dutch vacation homes, this one provides you with a convenient base in the heart of East Flanders, from where you can explore the magnificent hamlets of Donk and Klein with ease. The house is well-equipped with 2 chimneys and at least 6 windows.
Read more

A little slice of paradise in Sint-Maartensdijk

Image
  You have got to be pulling my leg! This is too good to be true. Behold this deluxe-Villa right in downtown Sint-Maartensdijk that is everything you could possibly want from a Dutch vacation home. This short-term rental property boasts no less than 4 full-sized refrigerators, 3 of which are rated B+ or better by energy class. A garden planted with ample bushes will provide many hiding places, for example if you want to playfully hide items from children or a fun-loving adult. 
Read more